On picture frames and frame of mind
Yet another incremental step today towards becoming a grown-up.
For Christmas, my step father Kenny gave me two gorgeous, absolutely authentic MacAskill photographs. (how do I know they're authentic? Well, for starters, I own two fakes and I can see the difference. For another, my Daddy inherited about 15 originals, and Mum has collected about a dozen more over the years. There are several things to look for in an authentic, and these have it all)
Anyway, I digress. Kenny also gave me funds towards having them re-framed, so this morning I grabbed my real ones and my fakes, and then drove to my Mum's house to steal one of hers. She has had thier collection framed in three diffrent ways, depending on which room of the house they were to be displayed in. I love the way the ones in the living room look, so I took this to the framing shop as well.
(I promise I'm getting to the point.)
At the framing counter of my local craft superstore (YOU figure it out!), I explain what I want. I show the not-particularly-warm-and-friendly lady how it should look, and I stand back. First blow: they don't have the frame I want. Oh. Okay. What do you have that's similar?
Not a whole hell of a pile, I can tell you. She shows me about 20 different frames, but none of them come close to what I want and I reject them completely. Then she shows me one that, well, I don't hate, and that's really all it has going for it. But I have taken up a half hour of her time by this point, and I feel guilty about this, so I say okay. The total for the four peices comes to about $100 more than I thought it would, but I'm okay with that. What I'm NOT okay with is she expects me to pay the whole deal right now.
"What, before the work is even done??"
"That's our policy."
Oh. Okay, policy. I guess I understand policy. So I give her my money and I leave. I get to my car in the parking lot, and I think, "Go back."
But that part of me who is a Pleaser and a Conflict-Avoider and, between you and me, The Doormat, says "Oh, but it'll be fine. It's not what you wanted, but it'll be fine. Besides, you took up so much of her time!"
So I leave. During the drive home, and then later at home, the conflict keeps turning over in my mind. It's true that I'm not happy, but it's also true that I don't want to be a bother or offend her. Seriously, THIS is how my mind works. But then something in me just said "Uh-uh, no way, Im not happy, I don't want this, and that lady is bloody PAID to talk to me."
Total major life changing event for me, as pathetic as that sounds.
This afternoon, I went back in and said I'm sorry, but I changd my mind, I really had my heart set on having them framed a certain way and I just don't feel good about this. You should have seen the LOOK the cow gave me. Suffice it to say that I doubt I'll be receiving a holiday card from her next year.
I immediately drove to an actual framing shop (shout out to FrameQuest!!) where I was treated with friendliness, great service, and some really great suggestions for the framing. This man clearly understood what I wanted, and also wanted to make sure I was happy. SOLD. And although his price was yet another $100 higher than the first place, I was STILL sold. And when he asked for a small deposit, not everything, oh no we'd never ask you to pay in full before you are satisfied, I almost asked him on a date.
This whole (long) story may seem like no big deal to you, but for me it was a personal victory with myself. Too many times I have simply gone with the flow because it was easier. For me to consciously rock the boat, no matter how tiny that boat may be, is huge.
For Christmas, my step father Kenny gave me two gorgeous, absolutely authentic MacAskill photographs. (how do I know they're authentic? Well, for starters, I own two fakes and I can see the difference. For another, my Daddy inherited about 15 originals, and Mum has collected about a dozen more over the years. There are several things to look for in an authentic, and these have it all)
Anyway, I digress. Kenny also gave me funds towards having them re-framed, so this morning I grabbed my real ones and my fakes, and then drove to my Mum's house to steal one of hers. She has had thier collection framed in three diffrent ways, depending on which room of the house they were to be displayed in. I love the way the ones in the living room look, so I took this to the framing shop as well.
(I promise I'm getting to the point.)
At the framing counter of my local craft superstore (YOU figure it out!), I explain what I want. I show the not-particularly-warm-and-friendly lady how it should look, and I stand back. First blow: they don't have the frame I want. Oh. Okay. What do you have that's similar?
Not a whole hell of a pile, I can tell you. She shows me about 20 different frames, but none of them come close to what I want and I reject them completely. Then she shows me one that, well, I don't hate, and that's really all it has going for it. But I have taken up a half hour of her time by this point, and I feel guilty about this, so I say okay. The total for the four peices comes to about $100 more than I thought it would, but I'm okay with that. What I'm NOT okay with is she expects me to pay the whole deal right now.
"What, before the work is even done??"
"That's our policy."
Oh. Okay, policy. I guess I understand policy. So I give her my money and I leave. I get to my car in the parking lot, and I think, "Go back."
But that part of me who is a Pleaser and a Conflict-Avoider and, between you and me, The Doormat, says "Oh, but it'll be fine. It's not what you wanted, but it'll be fine. Besides, you took up so much of her time!"
So I leave. During the drive home, and then later at home, the conflict keeps turning over in my mind. It's true that I'm not happy, but it's also true that I don't want to be a bother or offend her. Seriously, THIS is how my mind works. But then something in me just said "Uh-uh, no way, Im not happy, I don't want this, and that lady is bloody PAID to talk to me."
Total major life changing event for me, as pathetic as that sounds.
This afternoon, I went back in and said I'm sorry, but I changd my mind, I really had my heart set on having them framed a certain way and I just don't feel good about this. You should have seen the LOOK the cow gave me. Suffice it to say that I doubt I'll be receiving a holiday card from her next year.
I immediately drove to an actual framing shop (shout out to FrameQuest!!) where I was treated with friendliness, great service, and some really great suggestions for the framing. This man clearly understood what I wanted, and also wanted to make sure I was happy. SOLD. And although his price was yet another $100 higher than the first place, I was STILL sold. And when he asked for a small deposit, not everything, oh no we'd never ask you to pay in full before you are satisfied, I almost asked him on a date.
This whole (long) story may seem like no big deal to you, but for me it was a personal victory with myself. Too many times I have simply gone with the flow because it was easier. For me to consciously rock the boat, no matter how tiny that boat may be, is huge.
posted by Jenn at
11:13 p.m.
2 Comments:
Sweeeeet! Go Jenn! No doormats allowed!
When they're done, take a snapshot and post it. I want to see what they look like :)
You know it, it'll be my Victory Shot!
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