Twilight....

I love my blog. I love coming here and simply putting down whatever occurs to me in the moment. Between this site, and my last one, I have documented so many moments of my life that have touched me deeply and changed my life.

When I discontinued my old blog, it felt so weird to me. How could I walk away from myself? How could I turn my back on my own life?? But, clearly, I made peace with it, and started this one.

After nine months here, it's time for me to bow out again.

I am not a stupid woman, but sometimes I do things which, in retrospect, make me very uncomfortable. The simple truth is that I am no longer comfortable maintaining a site which uses my name as the address.

I WILL be back. I don't know what my new site will be, but I can reasonably assume that, once it's up, you'll be able to link to it thru Kelz' website. And if you are related to me (and, by the way, YOU are the reason I started blogging in the first place, so I could keep you all in my twisted loop) then you can get the new address from me or Mum. Feel free to email me or comment here if you want me to send you the new address.

I'm gonna miss this site. It has taken me through "my season of discontent", the hardest year of my life. It has taken me through incredible grief and despair, and it has been with me when things were so bloody wonderful I just needed to share it with other people. I am sad writing these words.

But I'll see you on the other side.

I have never...

(okay, totally stole this idea off Kelz' blog, but I want to play, too!)

I have never gone skydiving.
I have never figured out makeup.
I have never understood the words to "Blinded By The Light".
I have never gotten over my obsession with Laura Ingalls Wilder.
I have never learned to use chopsticks.
I have never stopped being afraid of horses.
I have never looked at another man since I met Mario.
I have never decided what I want to be when I grow up.
I have never regretted a single moment of my life.
I have never had a friend like Kelz.
I have never liked dainty, girlie jewellry.
I have never met an escargot I didn't love.
I have never worn a bikini.
I have never regretted THAT, either.

Spider Pig

Spider Pig, Spider Pig
Does whatever a Spider Pig does.
Can he swing from a thread?
No he can't, he's a pig....

There you go, boys and girls, that's the best part of the Simpsons Movie. I am sad to report I was let down, after anticipating this film for so long. Sigh. (But Spider Pig really was funny.)

Disappointing movie or not, it's still nice to get out of the house, go out like a normal person (even though Mario once more stayed home due to pain, and my "dates" for the evening were my mother and my sister.). I ate so much salty popcorn, though, that my belly feels way too big for my body, and my lips feel way too small for my face. All part of the experience, and all enjoyable in a strange way. Still....nothing feels right when Mario isn't there.

That guy I'm in love with

Yesterday, many managers at the hotel were in the lobby, waiting for the Prime Minister to arrive. Seeing how the whole production was my responsibility, I was darting around between the RCMP squad, the media, and our own hotel delegation. And as I flew from one edge of the hotel to the other, Mary-Helen Watermelon commented to Mario, "Jenn is wearing some SERIOUSLY sexy shoes."

Mario replied, "Well, she is a seriously sexy woman."

Wish he would have told ME...but at least he said it.

Wind that watch a little tighter

As I have mentioned, I plan conventions for a living. In four days, I have what my general manager describes as "the single most prestigious piece of business this hotel has seen in 15 years".

Hmmm. No pressure THERE. Yeah yeah, I've done international conferences, I've done major celebrities, but this truly is monumental: I have all thirteen Canadian Premiers visiting for four days of meetings and social activities. Ok....I'm on it.

And while I'm dealing with our own provincial government, who are hosting the event (and are lovely, organized people, all. No, that's not sarcasm, I am thankful for them.) I am ALSO dealing with delegations from the other twelve provinces who have different needs, different requirements, different levels of organization. Oi vey. And somehow it is all coming together.

Two days ago, I find out that, two days before the conference, I ALSO have to plan a visit from the Prime Minister. Totally unrelated, of course (cough! cough!) that he chooses to come to my city a mere 48 hours before the Premiers. Whatever, my job isn't to question political motives, my job is to get things done. And let me tell you: a visit from the PM is a giant blister that usually requires all of my work hours. To have that thrown at me on TOP of the Premiers is asking a bit much.

(And just in case youcare, let me explain that th PM himself is not what makes the work...I have had three visits from our current Prime Minister and "he" is very easy to take care of. It's just all the advance visits, the RCMP presence, the evacuation routes to plan, the dogs sniffing all the rooms that make it a big production. It's not HIS fault, it's just part of the machine.)

And while all this is going on, I am also planning the catering for 6,000 people at the Tim & Faith concert. And dealing with my regular clients, who need my attention and shouldn't suffer because I have other irons in the fire.

It's all just a bit overwhelming right now.

My weekend in 7 uncropped, un-Photoshopped pictures

I love my family.

Last H.P. post, I promise. Kind of.

This is NOT a spoiler. (Would I do that to you?)

I have been checking out a few of the Harry Potter fan websites these last few days, just observing the general reactions from readers around the world. I want to address a question that keeps coming up in various forms: "WHY did JK Rowling have to kill off so-and-so??"

The correct answer is that she didn't kill anyone: they died. Allow me to explain.

In his delightful book, On Writing, Stephen King explained that most of his characters begin as very hazy, indistinct people in his mind. The more he works on the story, the clearer he sees them. And eventually comes that magical moment when they are fully materialized in his imagination, and all he does is sit back, watch what they do, and write it down. He has admitted that his characters often do things that surprise him, and no matter how much he may have believed he knew the end of the story, sometimes the characters have other plans.

Detailing how the Outlander series of books began, author Diana Gabaldon tells us that the story was initially a straight period romance set in the 1740's. But, referring to her lead character, she admits, "....but Claire just wouldn't behave. I kept writing scenes and Claire kept reacting in wildly inappropriate ways. It was only after I knew her better that I realized she was actually from the future, and then things fell in to place."

People who have read Harry Potter feel like they know the characters, that they are almost real. Do you think JK Rowling feels less? She has known, loved and despised these people for almost twenty years. To suggest that she arbitrarily decided, "Hey, I'll kill THAT guy" strikes me as somehow disrespectful. If you were sad that a particular character died, don't you think she was, too? Don't you think she would have saved them if she could?

But, of course, she couldn't. She didn't control these people. She just visited with them for a time, then reported back to us what she saw.